The Heliophysicist's Wife

Garth Blake forecasts sun storms.  He wears a protective space suit and floats around within the Earth's magnetosphere waving expensive NASA instruments with his strong arms.  The instruments he uses measure the flow of energy and matter from Sun to Earth.  While many may take for granted the 5 billion year old star that is 93 million miles away from the Earth, Garth Blake is certain that the symbiosis of Sun and Earth can shed light on contemporary human behavior.  Pun very much intended.

A coronal mass ejection, or CME, is the most violent explosion in our solar system.  Sun storms have been known to thrust 10 million tons of mass into space.  Sun storms have been responsible for city wide blackouts and for scrambling communication and GPS systems.  Garth often wonders -- if the Earth and Sun are inextricably linked energy systems, what do the frequency of solar storms tell us about collective human consciousness?  You don't suppose the Commander in Chief of United States of America is going to deploy its military to the sun to take care of those CMEs the way it did WMDs in Iraq back in '02?  You don't suppose suicide bombers are going to feel the slightest bit miffed about the Sun's oneupmanship?  Or perhaps those nations who harbor uranium enrichment enthusiasts will feel a threat to World Militarulinity.  Not to mention how CMEs can put the NRA and America's precious gun laws to shame.

Scientists have proven that when a group of monks meditate together, they influence the Earth weather storm systems in that region.  So, what would it take for the Earth to influence a sun storm system?

Between sun storms, Garth Blake hasn't much to do but figure out how to reach an itch he can't scratch.  Damned anusitis!  He uses the down time to come up with a plan to realize human potential and harness human energy to take on the cosmos.  He thinks up choreography for a collective Human Helix Dance.  Or he thinks up cosmic sounding chants for humans and animals to sing in loops so as to raise the frequency of their own personal magnetic fields.  Garth supposes that if humans become more aware of their personal geomagnetic influence on the universe, they could learn to make choices that are more harmonious with the sun's magnetic fields.  Solar storms are caused by magnetic fields opposing one another.  Humans often oppose one another.  Garth wonders if we may be better off putting on white shiny shoes and try to out-helix dance one another.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, Garth's wife Elsie -- who is a mystic and a 3QO certified Gong Master -- plays her sun gong in the middle of White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico in order to "raise the frequency of that part of the Earth."  Who says gongs are best played on sacred ground?  The only reason the U.S. military allowed Elsie Blake to play her gong there while they hold off on target practice is because Garth's brother runs the Missile Range.  And when Garth's away on a space mission, Bruce knows the policy.  Whatever Elsie wants, Elsie gets.

Elsie plays her sun gong in hopes that Garth will have plenty of down time, perhaps figure out some way to relieve his itch and scratch himself in that place where the sun don't shine.