Monday, April 04, 2011

Vlad Vlad-i-koff

Vlad Vlad-i-koff is a winged creature, an eagle, as well as a non-violent, spiritual anarchist in the tradition of, say, Leo Tolstoy.

“Vladio,” as his closest friends call him, recently witnessed a rebellion. He was perched on a limb with his wings folded, minding his own business, when suddenly people started to scream and die. Witnessing horror has changed gentle Vladio for the rest of his life.

No more soaring over mountains. Nor more belly dancing with the clouds. No more eagle feathers slam dancing with the Easterly winds. No more gusts massaging his Avifaunian guts.

Vlad Vlad-i-koff marched himself over the million-mile Great Patch of Clover. Yes. He marched. Refused to fly. Refused to obey nature. What is the point? He wondered. He decided to exile himself just East of the Great Patch. He found a quiet corner, plucked himself one of his own feathers to fashion a quill pen with an italic nib, an instrument he is currently using to compose his Magnum Oprah. The title is Rebels and Children.

Vladio writes:

Rebels and Children is the love story between one man and himself, Omar Mu-hammer el-Ameerikah. Omar, ad-hoc leader of The Desert, falls in love with himself. When that love goes unrequited, Omar flees his native Desert to live a quiet life in rural Kentucky, where he drives around in a Jeep Cherokee and wins employee of the month at his new job making Hot Pockets. Taking on a moonlighting gig, Omar babysits for a boy prodigy by the name of Jimi Zap, a three-year-old who plays a mean electric guitar. When the boy plays for Omar, the former desert despot is shocked into a whole new consciousness. Soon local, envious yokels see the friendship forming between Jimi Zap and his babysitter, Omar Mu-hammer el-Ameerikah, and next thing he knows it, Omar is being pursued by World Authorities. Jimi chooses to help Omar flee Kentucky. What starts as the secret escape of one boy and his babysitter ends in the greatest revolution since Rock and Roll.

Now, the wingless, bearded Vlad Vlad-i-koff is certain his work will make the A list; but if that doesn’t happen, he hopes that at least his mother will enjoy reading Rebels and Children.

(a flikr rendering of Vlad Vlad-i-koff)

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