Monday, September 26, 2011

The Revolution Will Not Be Facebooked

You will not be able to log on, Users.
You will not be able to download or run on battery power.
You will not be able to lose yourself surfing the web, nor
Tweet your latest unexamined thought during your coffee break,
Because the revolution will not be facebooked.

The revolution will not be facebooked.
The revolution will not be Liked or Unliked, nor
Linked to your blog or your website or your Favorites
The Revolution will not show you pictures of Steve Jobs
Holding an iPhone and leading a techno crusade with Lara
Bingle, General Petraeus, and Dick Cheney to eat Kofta Kebab confiscated from Taliban strongholds.
The revolution will not be facebooked.

The revolution will not disclose its financial statements and will not be offered to Goldman Sachs investors.
The revolution will not star Natalie Portman or Elmo and Abby Cadabby.
The revolution will not make you more effective in bed.
The revolution will not get rid of bed bugs.
The revolution will not help you tone your thighs because the revolution will not be facebooked.

You will have no status to update, no photos of
out-of-touch friends bouncing babies—cuter, healthier, and smarter than yours—on their stronger, non-arthritic knees. Disney will not be able to re-release The Lion King in 3-D to take in $22 million at the box office.
The revolution will not be facebooked.

There will be no YouTube clips of NYPD pepper spraying female protestors.
There will be no protests,
for or against, building mosques in lower Manhattan.
There will be plenty of knuckleballs way more elusive than Tim Wakefield’s, but the revolution will not be facebooked.

Dancing With the Stars, CNN, and Glee will no longer be so damned relevant, and people will no longer care if the Amazon tablet can compete with the iPad because natural disaster victims will be in the street looking for a brighter day. The revolution will not be facebooked.

There will be no Farmville and no “View all Comments” and no deals to stream content from DreamWorks Animation. The theme song will not be written by Byonce, and Steven Spielberg will not be the executive producer. Wilco will not play a 24-song set that includes songs from its new album. The revolution will not be facebooked.

You will not have to worry about the elephant in the room or red states versus blue states. The revolution will not be available on Blu Ray or in high definition or as an eBook. You will not upload the revolution app. The revolution will not raise life expectancy. The revolution will not be suffering from obesity or diagnosed with ADHD.

The revolution will be local, intimate. The revolution will put you in the pilot seat.

The revolution will not be facebooked, will not be facebooked, will not be facebooked, will not be facebooked. The revolution will not be facebooked, Friends.

The revolution will be inside you.

(Note: This is a tribute to Gil Scott-Heron; please click on this blog post's title to listen to his words.)

No comments: