Monday, August 27, 2012

Your Second Amendment Spoils My American Dream

Here's the most idiotic thing I've heard today:

"If I don't have a gun to protect my family, I have nothing."

Now someone please assure me that the guy who said this was not the same guy who said, "The internet is a great way to get on the net."

You know what happened to me today?

A gunman wiped his feet on my Welcome mat, came into my home, and shot 36 rounds from his Semi-Automatic American Values Rifle.  Five rounds hit the vacuum cleaner.  Two hit my laptop.  Four hit the microwave oven.  One shattered the picture window.  Three hit my wedding and baby albums.  Eleven hit the HD TV during an episode of Modern Family. Four hit my book shelves, taking out all of The Classics.  And six disappeared, hitting random targets inside my very disorganized, California closets.

Gun Man did not come after me or my children.  In fact, he is a rather kind gentlemen, well-educated, wears shined shoes and pressed pants; he votes Republican and considers himself to be a level-headed gun owner.  He is my neighbor, in fact, and we've known each other for decades.  Who knows what sent him on his rampage?

After the smoke cleared, I offered him a cold beer.  Life goes on, after all.

I do not own a gun, but my neighbor has the power to destroy me and my home.  Am I going to go out and buy a gun to protect myself from this completely civilized idiot?


Why not?

Because guns are too simple, too stupid, too unsophisticated, and too motherfucking unimaginative a method for murder.

If I want to destroy someone, Words are my mightiest weapon.

Words, folks.

Beware of my words.  If I want to destroy you, my words will be enough to bring you down.

Just as the pen was once mightier than the sword, so too the blog post is mightier than the nuclear weapon.

If you still argue that you need to own a gun, or you have nothing, please don't forget you have a human spirit that is divine, eternal, and invincible.

I believe that.


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