Monday, August 27, 2012

Your Second Amendment Spoils My American Dream

Here's the most idiotic thing I've heard today:

"If I don't have a gun to protect my family, I have nothing."

Now someone please assure me that the guy who said this was not the same guy who said, "The internet is a great way to get on the net."

You know what happened to me today?

A gunman wiped his feet on my Welcome mat, came into my home, and shot 36 rounds from his Semi-Automatic American Values Rifle.  Five rounds hit the vacuum cleaner.  Two hit my laptop.  Four hit the microwave oven.  One shattered the picture window.  Three hit my wedding and baby albums.  Eleven hit the HD TV during an episode of Modern Family. Four hit my book shelves, taking out all of The Classics.  And six disappeared, hitting random targets inside my very disorganized, California closets.

Gun Man did not come after me or my children.  In fact, he is a rather kind gentlemen, well-educated, wears shined shoes and pressed pants; he votes Republican and considers himself to be a level-headed gun owner.  He is my neighbor, in fact, and we've known each other for decades.  Who knows what sent him on his rampage?

After the smoke cleared, I offered him a cold beer.  Life goes on, after all.

I do not own a gun, but my neighbor has the power to destroy me and my home.  Am I going to go out and buy a gun to protect myself from this completely civilized idiot?


Why not?

Because guns are too simple, too stupid, too unsophisticated, and too motherfucking unimaginative a method for murder.

If I want to destroy someone, Words are my mightiest weapon.

Words, folks.

Beware of my words.  If I want to destroy you, my words will be enough to bring you down.

Just as the pen was once mightier than the sword, so too the blog post is mightier than the nuclear weapon.

If you still argue that you need to own a gun, or you have nothing, please don't forget you have a human spirit that is divine, eternal, and invincible.

I believe that.


Thursday, August 23, 2012

Reading Dante Micheaux

Boy desire.

This Conqueror bows down to his weakness.

My deepest imagination is a boy in bloom.

Across the waters, I’ve glimpsed the you
Who will bring me closer to ancient battlefields.
Search not for me, Love.
I’ve seen Allah’s frown, and will

Conspire to meet my beau,
will Tickle and Suck.
in this mutual flesh quest.

Transgendered Vishnu
Leaves me wanting Shiva to catch Vishnu.
I want Shiva and Vishnu to embrace again as much as I want you to 

Savagely expose Willy Laury's loneliness.

Oh Goliath, scorn me, if you must.  But do please chase me.

I feel the power of Big Pretty leaning into the mountain stroke.
Egoists do the mating dance any which way they can.

These poems make me desire you to suck my Adam’s apple.

What could be sexier than your "Tenor"?

Thank you for inviting me into the privacy of your moan.

Bewitched boy,
Your hands are an erotic poem.
Here, this room, is the universe—we, its ecstatics.

holy silence.

We agree it’s okay to pray for boys panting in your bed,
and the neighbors will praise the
unmuffled sounds of rapture.

Your poem “Pinyan” gives the reader space to contemplate 
the Enumclaw horse sex case without 
You give a reader the ecstatic vision of horse and rider as One.

We eavesdrop on Frederico Garcia Lorca speaking to his muse
and journey with Mariners and delivery boys.

You introduce me to Francisco Bosch
Who could have been the Eromenos of Alexander the Great;
his beauty serves, pays homage to fantasies.

If you are lovesick, dear, know that I am here --
A man trapped in a woman’s body.
Inside me, a boy in bloom awaits you
and your skills at Analingus
No shame in that!
My inner blooming boy child has a smooth, brown backside.
You guide me to discover him.
He’s a dancer who wouldn't give a flying fig
if he were to be exploited
by soldiers in the absence of women.

Would you allow me to introduce you to
The mother within you
The mother who always already commands in silence?

Oh, and please tell Venus Thrash I admire her smooth, and I desire she smooth me and Daddy me.

Ignore the gossip.  I want to read every book you’ve stored inside your head.
We’ll break curfew and play with all we find inside Constantin Brancusi’s toolbox
We’ll sculpt all that we see stretch naked in winter light.

Do you want to hear a story of the first time I saw an erection that was not my own?
We removed our black skinny-jeans.  We stood naked in an urban pasture.  
I could smell his pulse.   
We left the sheep alone and escaped to night the night.

Sita and Durga, dressed in Italian suits, are solving equations and practicing sissy Kung Fu.
Anarchy and Poetry are lovers who walk with
elusive muses who are not speaking to you because they’re making love
in the afternoon, like you do with your boy in that steamy apartment you don’t own.

Meanwhile, I go shopping for boots with Lawrence King.  Yes. His ghost wears go-goes.

Let’s sew a lolita gown for Achilles.

In your city, a dead haberdasher tips his hat to me
then shows me the nightside of joy.

I turn to him and to you.  
I say, our future, not yet deep, 
is growing.

Mister Micheaux, your poems sit upon my nightstand, so I can fall asleep
to the sound of your loud love.

Sunday, August 05, 2012


She saw a generous amount of female thigh on the the Rufus Lorenz bikini ad in the newspaper this morning.  The mushroom with goat cheese omelet received her spouse's generous praise.  After eating, he opened the paper, and she noticed him give those thighs a generous perusing.    

In another room, two guys were talking.   "Hey.  Have you heard they’ve just declared Generosity an Olympic Sport?"  "No shit!"  "Ya.  Iran's team leads."

Across the street, a girl thinks: The best thing anyone has every said to me came from my soul sister's mouth,  Girl, you are one generous genius.

In the Wheels and Deals World, someone says, "If you scratch my back, and I scratch my back, then you scratch my back again, I’d say that would be a generous use of your time."

Before Lady Mystery became president of the brokerage firm Terra Capital Group, the TC Group dedicated a generous amount of its proceeds to children left orphaned in Afghanistan; however, after Lady Mystery’s reign, all profits went straight to those with the greatest need all over the world.  

In the background somewhere, Newsman said, "Today, The Market endured its most generous plummet in history!"

At the ice cream parlor, Ice Cream Man shoveled me a generous scoop of chocolate ice cream.

In the background, Newsman said, "Today, they discovered that Mars is a generous planet."    

On campus, they're all nodding,  "Yes.  I’m reading a book entitled The Fifty Shades of Generosity.  So far, reading that book has inspired me to rush over to my mother’s house and give her a well-deserved foot rub.  That’s how eager I am to practice the art and science of generosity."
"Yes, and I am reading a book called Generosity and Chemistry, an Erotic Fantasy.  I thinks its a Gore Vidal posthumous bestseller." 

In an erotic book club, someone comments, "Lick me, with your generous tongue, sweet Reader."  

If generosity were an Olympic sport, my Lovers would take the Gold. 

Here, I've made this apricot pie; may I cut you a generous slice?

I just downloaded the coolest new Generation Generosity ap onto my device.

Percussionist, Barney Lazarro gives this spoken-word performance in which he drums and chants the word for generosity in ninety-three languages while an enormous, sparkling dancer spins and shimmies all around him.  He performs at Gif Ives's Club Bounty tonight at 7.

The Pennsylvania politician's remarks were generous in their stupidity.

The Guard gave the prisoner a generous beating.

The protestors shouted:  Yes to Generosity!  No to Corpocracy!  Yes to Generostiy!  No to Corpocracy!

The hero died a generous death.

I made a generous contribution to The Institution; The Institution made me Chief Generocateur.

In The Barnhart Concise Dictionary of Etymology, I find the word generous between the words generic and genesis.  I study the word generous sitting there quietly on the page, and I say to the word, "You've got fine bedfellows."

In 1588, the word generous meant of noble birth, magnanimous.  Makes me want to end all this by shouting out to all humanity:  You've got a generous heart!