Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Mysterious Passport Holder

Among her late father’s papers, Riva Djinn found an old-fashioned passport. The “passport” was an 18th Century letter of introduction claiming that Saul Djinn curried much good favor with the King of France and should be treated like royalty in the new world. Finding this official document among her father’s things convinced Riva that she had been born into a family that should travel as it pleases. ‘My troubles are over.’ She thought as she devised a brilliant plot to get herself out of her fix. She decided that for now she’d keep it all a secret from her boyfriend. She packed her bags. Roger Boyle works as an Irish customs officer. His job involves checking and stamping passports. He often yawns on the job and rarely gets involved in travel document intrigue. One day he was working the Irish Seaport entry, and he noticed a suspicious traveler wearing a football jersey, de-boarding a ship that had just crossed the Irish Sea from the UK. After Agent Boyle whiffed a familiar odor issuing from this man whose name on his papers was Mister Boris English, Boyle sensed something suspicious and followed the traveler. Turns out Boris English was not a man at all but a woman who had snuck over to Britain to get herself an abortion. Thought she was so clever hooting and hiding among World Cup fans in the crowded Dublin pubs, but Agent Boyle noticed, under the oversized jersey, her full breasts, her supple figure, and her wide hip-swing; that was enough for him to suspect she was up to something scandalous. Authorities asked her, “And the real Boris English? Where is he?” She told them he was a once-celebrated-now-forgotten military leader. He is clinically insane, really, and is now kept quiet in an out-of-the-way hospital. When the authorities turned their backs to check the merit of her story, the woman slipped away and successfully escaped. She is confident they’ll never find her. Authorities suspect She is seeking asylum somewhere between Brazil and Canada. She’s having a blast going by as many as twelve different names, such as Riva Djinn or Rina Flynn or Riza Sims or Razor Sharp. She’s traveling with forged official documents from twelve different countries around the Far Northern Middle East. This time she is sure to stick to her proper gender identity. Experience has taught her that national identity is more fluid than gender identity, thus much more easily forged. But her abandoned boyfriend, Roger Boyle, waits at an undisclosed port; he still stamps the passports of every man, woman, and child. They enter and he sniffs them on the sly, pulls a long face and thinks ‘No, you’re not Riva in disguise. Go on through!’ But now, thanks to his sweet girl, his job is made much more interesting.

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