Saturday, April 15, 2006


Rolfgang is Ugo’s older brother. When they were boys bunting balls in the yard, Ugo shadowed Rolfgang. But when they got older, Rolfgang became the shadier of the two. When the two sealed a contract with the mug boss, their brotherhood grew stickier. After three or so slug jobs and a clip, both brothers got all their limbs tangled in an affair with a crooked dame and all their wits tested by an intrigue with a wily, old lady. Desperate to fulfill the mug boss’ last contract, the older brother pulled a gun on his younger brother. While rain fell on the windshield, Rolfgang rubbed an 1840s French pistol under Ugo’s nose; but, Ugo couldn’t take his brother seriously; he started to sing some nincompoop nonsense song until Rolfgang shook so violently with laughter that he dropped the gun. The next evening, around midnight, the mug’s gang avenged betrayal by giving Rolfgang the meat hook. Although Ugo was able to remove the hook from Rolfgang’s left nostril, the offense stirred Ugo’s passions so much so that for once in his life, Ugo stopped thinking of girls. Thoughts of revenge consumed the youger brother. By high noon the next day, court was in session and Ugo had worked up the balls to confess. “Have you ever seen such an undersized wharf hand hang his stinking guts on the rope like that?” Wharf workmen gossiped. After the committee made the final decision, the wharf hands turned their cheeks and became less afraid of the mug boss. Next they all waited for Ugo to tell them what to do. Ugo gave a riddle: “Gentlemen, what creatures have got plenty of thug muscle while they still act with the virtue of wee, cutie babes?” The wharf hands turned this way and that then shrugged and gave up. “Men, that's who, Men when they finish working overtime act like babes who crawl and suck, right? But Men crawl the pubs and give suck to the pint! Let's go!”

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