Friday, March 09, 2007
The Cursing Cure
Last Saturday, the night sky adorned itself with a stunning lunar eclipse. Many pedestrians walked around The City, looked up—or didn’t bother to look—and noticed—or didn’t care—that an uncommon shadow obscured the full moon. This seemingly quaint celestial event filled Riva Djinn with total dread. Every time there is a lunar eclipse, Riva suffers from a rare form of feminine aches and pains. Last Saturday, she experienced one of those gruesome attacks. For years, Riva has been trying to find the cure, but medical science hasn’t even assigned a name to her disorder yet. Riva has been thorough in trying to get to the bottom of this problem. After three physicians referred her to nine different specialists in all fields from neurology to cardiology, the mysterious ailment always returned in the event of a lunar eclipse. Naturally, Riva tried holistic approaches. The psychic healer said Riva’s aura gave off too much extrasensory sludge; even the best clairvoyant would never get a clear reading. The Feng Shui Master said Riva’s inner compass bewildered the four directions. The Spiral-energy Healer said that the force fabric of Riva’s inner vitality needed a vacation. And as if her body wasn’t messed up enough, Captain Spirituality said Riva needed a gut renovation in The Core of her consciousness. After amassing a healthy dosage of professional opinion, Riva decided to make peace with her condition. So when last Saturday’s eclipse attack came on, and the sharp pain started to invade her pelvic floor, she cursed the lunar eclipse in nine different languages. “Wouldn’t you know it?” Riva thought to herself. Nine-fold cursing indeed proves an effective way to restore one’s health. Riva’s pain eventually passed, and that was that.